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Chase Anna Chapman
Matt Broughton test drives Viaden’s latest themed online slot offering and tries to work out why you’d want to chase someone with a gun
I won’t lie to you; I’m pretty much a slots virgin. Though I’ve spent the last decade in and out of casinos, when it comes to slots I’m more of a sea-side arcade 2p fruit machine man where if you get two cherries in less than 30 minutes you consider yourself a lucky chap and head for the nearest ice cream van.
For many an hour I’ve looked on as players thumped away on the spin button without appearing to gain much joy from the proceedings. There always seems to me a faint disinterested in the results, and that’s probably why I’ve never really been drawn to the spin of the reel. However, as slots have moved away from mechanical technology and embraced the possibilities of computer-generated imagery and delivery a video games junkie like me finds it harder and harder not to want to play. Which brings us to my first ever review of an online slot. I’m presenting it to you under the guise of “we should all educate ourselves as to what is turning online slots players on”, but mostly I’m just using it as an excuse to play games, take a few screenshots, and then let you know what I think. Why should you care? I have absolutely NO idea, but let’s see if we can’t have some fun. Surely that’s what it’s all about…
Annoyingly there are only two speeds of play. The first takes approximately 12 seconds for each spin (I timed it!) which feels like an age, and the other is an immediate spin with no animation.THE MANY FACES OF ANNA CHAPMAN
In case you’re not familiar with the young lady in question, Anna Chapman (born Anna Vasil’yevna Kushchyenko) is a Russian national that was arrested in 2010 while living in New York on suspician of working as a spy for the Russian Federation’s external intelligence agency. She pleaded guilty to conspiracy, was deported back to Russia, and then – like all good spies – was immediately turned into a slot machine. In case you’re wondering why the other nine spies arrested at the same time were not considered worthy of the reel, let’s just say they probably don’t look as good in a swim suit as she does.
Anyway, let’s look at all the super-spy things Anna can do…
Anna can and will shoot you if you win too much. I can only hope your monitor is bullet-proof.
Being a super-spy, Anna refuses to travel unless it’s in a helicopter. While wearing a low-cut top, obviously.
Just when you think you’ve caught Anna, off she speeds in a sexy little red car. Damn, she’s so cool.
When Anna runs out of guns and vehicles, she pouts her super-spy pout at you. No wonder they arrested her.
When Anna is busy infiltrating top USA government buildings she likes to wear red. Oh, and sexy boots [left]
When Anna is busy shopping (or whatever she does) in Russia, she likes to wear tight shiny black things. Oh, and sexy boots. Oh, and a gun.ANNA BONUS
I won’t lie to you; I’m all about the bonus games. They’re never going to compete with the latest Xbox titles, but they are a little bit of excitement to break up all that reel spinning and keep players engaged.
Activate the bonus and you’re presented with five dossiers. You have three chances to find the case of Anna Chapman!
Damn! It’s not Anna; it’s some Sicilian with a squashed face. The good news is that you still get some cash for your troubles.
AHA! Gotcha Anna Chapman. No amount of “exceptionally charming and sexual” behaviour is going to save you this time!
Now you’ve tracked her down to the airport you need to pick one of three departure gates. Don’t be fooled by the people – it’s all random.
Curse you Anna Chapman! She got away, but I’m laughing all the way to the bank. Until next time Anna Chapman, until next time…
